Sunday, August 14, 2011

I'm feeling much better this weekend.  I wasn't feeling wonderful on Friday, but the chemical taste finally subsided on Friday night.

Last week, I found out that I lost weight again.  I'm back down to 156lbs. I'm eating much better this weekend, though, so I will prob pick that up a bit. I have a little over a week before I need to go in for #5.

Not looking forward to the aftermath of that one.

Just have to remind myself that I'm almost there.... 

Update on Cycle 4...

It’s been almost a full week since Chemo #4 and my taste buds and appetite are still off balance. I’m also getting very frustrated, in general.  In hindsight, the first few cycles went rather quick but I am really getting my fill by now.  I can’t even imagine how I’m supposed to deal with at least 2-3 more cycles.  It really takes a lot out of me.  This latest one, I’ve been very tired all day.  From Friday until Saturday, I slept a lot.  I slept for about 15 hours on/off with just a couple breaks in between.

I’m getting very tired of this chemical taste in my mouth.  I got pizza for dinner today and was all excited about it.  I took one bite and could barely taste anything.

I guess that’s all I can update with for now.  I have to go in for my herceptin infusion tomorrow, so hopefully that will make me feel a bit better.

7/29/11 "Other updates"

This past weekend, I spent sometime with my parents and nephews in Monticello, NY.  The city was too humid and I just needed a change of scenery.  It was pretty relaxing, well, as relaxing as it could be with a 2 year old, an 8 year old, and 2 dogs running around!!!

I was a little nervous about telling my nephew about my whole (lack of) hair situation.  A few days before, when I walked to the car after not seeing him for a while, he told me that I looked a little different but he wasn’t sure why. I asked him if it was because of my hair.  He said, yeah, it looks shorter and kind of different. I wasn’t sure if I should tell him, yet because I didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable.  I did get some encouragement to do so and I knew that I couldn’t keep the wig on my head 24/7 for the whole weekend, so I asked him if he remembered when he came to pick me up from the doctor’s appointment and saw the bandage on my arm. I had originally told him that it was from a blood test.  I told him that I was taking a certain kind of medication that makes my hair fall out.  This made him open his eyes wide and we laughed for a bit.  I explained to him that I needed this medicine to get better, so I just have to deal with the hair loss for now but that it was just temporary.  The first day I told him, he didn’t want me to take off the wig. But by the next day, he decided he was ready to see me without it.  Then he told me that he is ok with it because he still knows it’s me because it’s my face, my voice, and I act like me.  It almost made me cry but I wanted him to see that I’m ok. 

8/3/2011 Chemo: Cycle 4 and some other updates

I’ve gotten lazy with updating this blog. This is the post wherein I will summarize the last 2 cycles very briefly and post some other updates in my life.  I will hopefully update in real-time about today’s Cycle #4!

At 9am this morning, My dad drove S and I to the de ja vu that was June 1^st.  This time, though, we shed no tears (other than the tears of happiness that my brand new Android phone was delivered!).  Funny enough, there was a man sitting in the chair next to mine who was there for his first cycle of chemo.  He was there with his wife.  The volunteer lady, of course, showed up as she did on my first day, and filled them in on a bunch of info.  I also I told them they that if they had any questions they could definitely ask me as I am currently in treatment.  Later on, I heard the wife remind the husband that I had mentioned that chemo wasn’t really as scary as I expected it to be.  I feel like I helped assuage some of their stress and that feels really good.  I learned that the husband had served in Vietnam (but not in battle) and lost several friends in 9/11, even some of his co-workers at his firehouse.  He’s already been through so much stuff that this addition doesn’t seem fair at all. Ugh, life.

Well, Cycle 4, done.

Right now, I’m currently at home, ‘resting’.  I’m trying to keep hydrated and stay calm.  I really must get a handle on this post-chemo anxiety. So far, it’s working. (Please let this not be a jinx!)

I really thought I had gained a bit of weight this week because of all of my snacking, but I weigh the same as I did last week.

This is random but for my own records, I suppose.  At the time I found the lump, I weighed around 167 lbs.

On 5/4/11, (the day before surgery) I weighed 165 lbs.

6/1/11- First day of Chemo, I weighed 164 lbs.

6/7/11- 1 week after chemo, I weighed 158 lbs.

I’ve pretty much been steady at 161 ever since then.

So, I guess it means that chocolate chip cookies, ice cream, and other various snacks are here to stay? Ha ha. I really am eating healthier these days, though, aside from that.  I also drink green tea (with honey. Cold from the fridge).  I recently learned about Conjugated linoleic acid.  Interesting stuff. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conjugated_linoleic_acid  

"In 1979, researchers from the University of Wisconsin applied a beef
extract to mice skin. The mice were then exposed to a strong
carcinogen. When the researchers counted the number of tumors
developed by the mice 16 weeks later, they found, to their surprise,
that the mice exposed to the beef extract had 20% fewer tumors. The
identity of this anti-carcinogen was not discovered until almost a
decade later in 1987."

Anyone know where I can get my hands on some kangaroo meat?! (Yes, I’m kidding.)

Ok, now for the updates of Cycles 2 and 3.

(BEEP, BEEP… some TMI ahead- re: side effects)

Cycle 2 went a lot more smoothly than cycle 1 in regards to side effects. I had minor taste changes that only lasted a few days, some of those pesky mouth ‘sores’ (They’re like very mild canker sores.  And, I rinsed with baking soda several times a day).  My favorite, though, was the three week long period. That’s always fun.

Cycle 3 was ok. I had some minor rib and back pains and the taste change… etc. I’ve also begun to notice some twitching below my right eye and also in my lower abdomen, too.  I asked my doctor about it today and he said that sometimes chemo has some temporary neurological effects but that I shouldn’t worry.

Although, something unusual did occur. A full week after cycle 3’s chemo, I felt a little odd as I went in for my white blood cell boost iv.  My sister came with me and everything went fine.  I was a little anxious, but that’s nothing new.  We went out to eat lunch and a nearby sushi place.  I was surprised that I was able to eat that much because my appetite had been a little low for that week up until then.  We even got some frozen yogurt since it was so hot outside that day.  We shared a cab and headed to our respective workplaces.  The next day, Thursday, I felt a little weak when I woke up and got ready for work.  I drank my glass of green tea and made myself some toast with butter to bring with me for breakfast. I drank some Gatorade and then when lunch time (around 1pm or so) rolled around and I realized that I should eat something since it had been hours since my light breakfast. I was feeling anxious and since I’m almost always alone in the office/and even in the building most days, that didn’t help me calm down.  I tried to eat my turkey sandwich but I couldn’t get it near my face.  It was so unappealing.  I guess that added to my anxiety and then I fell apart. (WARNING) Then I had my second time of being sick. (Something about the word ‘vomit’ really grosses me out.)

I called my mother and she helped me calm down a bit.  We realized that my sister wasn’t working that day, so I called her.  She came over and sat with me in my office until my third and fourth times (ahem) came along.  (So, So, Sorry you had to witness that, J!) Then, we took a cab home at around 4pm because I needed to go home and sleep.  This was around the time that I realized I had anti-nausea pills that my doctor prescribed.  I’m smart.  I was nervous to take it but I figured this was a time where it was appropriate.

Sis and Misha (M.A) fed me mashed potatoes and put me to bed.  I was nervous about being home alone the next morning but Misha went out of his way to come by early in the morning and spend time with me. He brought me an egg sandwich and we watched and made fun of day time talk shows such as Maury/Jerry Springer/Court shows until J came home.  Thank you so much, Misha. It really meant a lot.