Wednesday is MY day!

I just realized that my birthday falls on a Wednesday this year.  How appropriate.  I'm taking back control of Wednesdays and of my life.

A lot of great things have been happening lately, and I'm so appreciative of all the love and support I've received.

That said, I'm going to be so old 2 days from now!!!! Just kidding. I'm going to enjoy it! :)

June 1st, 2012

June 1st, 2011- What a day that was. It was a Wednesday and one that I'll never forget.
June 1st, 2012- Today's going to be a much better day.  I'm cat-sitting a kitty who looks so very much like my cat who I had for 14 years. My cousin is visiting from Israel so I'm going to spend some time catching up with her.

Earlier this week I got a call from my doctor notifying me that I had completed my 52 weeks of the herceptin iv's.  I'm done. I'm done. I'm done!!!  My Wednesdays are back to being my own. Goodbye needles! Good Riddance. I'm good.

TGIF! I'm going to enjoy the sunny weather. :)

I'm feeling great!

It has been a while since I've updated the blog and I just wanted you all to know that I have been feeling great these past few months and I now have hair! Real hair! I will post a photo below.

At 2pm today, I will be receiving one of my last Herceptin iv's ever!  I thought today would be the last one but when I asked my nurse 3 weeks ago, she said that she thinks I have 2 to go (one today and one in 3 weeks from now).  I can' wait for this to be over with.  My veins need a vacation.

I have only mild things to complain about but I'd prefer to look at all the positives!  I feel like my old self.  I can taste my food (a little too well, maybe. MmMm Ice cream! *Drool!*), I am looking more and more like myself, I am enjoying the weather outside, and I have been working.  The funny thing is that I have only missed 1.5 days of work throughout this whole ordeal.  No matter how I felt, knowing that I had to get up and out of bed in the morning really helped keep me in a positive mindset. 

I am not looking forward to the needles in a couple hours from now but I am looking forward to the last 1 or 2 needles, ever! I am more adept at handling things that come my way when I know how long they're going to last.  One or two more iv's... I can handle that!

What a year.

Without further ado, this is what I currently look like. :)

And here's a bonus photo:

 

Latest Updates

On Mon 12/5/11, I had my follow up visit with Dr. L (Chemo dr) where he pronounced that I was doing well and gave me my prescription for Tamoxifen.

That means I still have to get an Herceptin Iv once every three weeks until at least May/June 2012 and take one Tamoxifen pill, daily, until, 2016.

On the hair front…

This past weekend, (Sat, 12/10/00) Sheldon and I went to a small gathering at the home of our friends, Moody and Irina.  I chose this to be my ‘revealing’ moment.  I’m so tired of wearing the wigs.  It gets very hot underneath those things, and I also felt kind of like a fraud, trying to ‘trick’ people into believing that I was perfectly healthy with a full head of hair.  Anyhow, I was really nervous because up until now a very, very small number of people have seen me bald!  I couldn’t believe that I had not only showed 6 new people my fuzzy head but I stayed wigless for a few hours!  It may not seem like such a big deal, but you have to understand that I have never in my life had hair this short.  I was born with a head of fluffy hair and up until the 1990s-early 2000s, I had never cut my hair any shorter than shoulder length.

I want to thank Irina & Moody, June & Chris, and David & Jonathan for making me feel comfortable on Saturday.  You guys made me much more relaxed about my vanity, so much so, that I am going to post a photo today.

Most of you have only seen me in at least one of my lovely hairstyles lately: a) The Chassidic mamala style, b) The cute, curly, Flatbush Avenue Lace-front party style, and c) Natasha, the Rusky spy style.  Now, I present to you my “Britney is a crazy bitch style”, aka- “this is my real hair”!!!

I had my last chemo on 9/14/11, but the first 3-4 weeks following, the chemo destroyed the little growth I had. (An accidental double entendre?) So, this is about 9 weeks of hair growth. 

(Oh, yes, I forgot to add the story about when my eyes took turns swelling up during the radiation process.  I think I'm allergic to a certain brand of baby powder.  But, that's a story for another time... Please excuse how my eye lids look in this pic.   The swelling is mostly gone by now.  This photo was taken last week.)

Continuation and end of Radiation

I don’t know that I really have that much to add about the radiation.  After chemo, radiation is a piece of cake.  A slightly over baked, crispy pie, maybe.

Every week day morning at 9:45, I showed up to the basement level of Methodist Hospital in Park Slope, Brooklyn. I put my blue appointment card in the little box, changed into very fashionable hospital gown/robe, said hello to my fellow morning session radiotherapy patients, and settled in to watch an amusing “Let’s make a deal,” as I waited to be called by my wonderful technicians. After the 11 minute treatment was done, I ran to the car where my dad was awaiting me and he drove me to work.  They were pretty busy days but it was perfect since I didn’t want to have too much time to just sit and think and feel sorry for myself.

The first 5 weeks of radiation went smoothly.  At the end of week 5/beginning of week 6, I had a small tiny dot of peeling skin under my arm.  It stung a teensy bit but was fine otherwise.   Mrs. D, who I mentioned in the Prospect Park post, went through her treatment about a year ago.  We spoke a little during the walk and she told me about her burn from radiation and offered me the fancy cream she used. (Thank you!)  Well, due to this (and my uncanny ability to turn anything into hypochondria and anxiety), I started to worry that my burn might get really bad.  I was due to see Dr. R that day, anyway, for my weekly visit with him.  He reassured me that no two people are the same and hence no one else’s experience could predict that mine would follow suite.  He brought me over some fancy cream (desitin diaper cream + Iron + other fabulous stuff) that was mixed right in his department, which I used generously over the next few weeks.

The following week, my skin peeled a little more.  I freaked out of course and broke down at my appt with Dr. R, but he jokingly asked me if I had never peeled from a sun burn before to which I replied that yes, I most definitely did when I used to tan when I was younger, but I got to have fun in the sun and beach or pool first!!  In hindsight, he was absolutely right.  I guess I just got scared to see my skin peel off in large pieces.  (Sorry about the too much info!)  Dr. R wasn’t worried because underneath the peeling, I had already grown fresh, new skin.  This is what is supposed to happen. 

I’m not going to lie and say it didn’t hurt at all, because, yes, it stung like crazy!!  I managed all right because it only really hurt when I moved my left arm or when the cloth of my shirt touched the sensitive crispy bits and I was super careful not to let that happen. I didn’t end up taking any medication- even though it was suggested that I take even a Tylenol or ibuprofen.  And for some more tmi, I had to stop wearing a bra for over a week.  Talk about awkward. But during the week and a half of my “booster” radiation (which is when they aimed the radiation ONLY to a small radius surrounding the lumpectomy site, instead of the entire area like before) my underarm and underboob healed real quick!  I was fully healed within a week of my last radiation, and today- 2 weeks plus one day after my last treatment- I feel really good.  The peeling even lightened my scars a lot.  They’re so barely noticeable now.

A bunch of thanks to Dr. R, and to my technicians Iris and Thien. I can't believe I am thanking people who attacked me with radiation! But, in all seriousness, thanks for taking great care of me and making me feel comfortable even though I was lying there topless!!  (I might give them the URL to this blog at some point. ha ha)

Prospect Park Walk

On October 16, I joined Team “Fight like a girl,” (Aka, Team PJ Hanley’s) to walk in the American Cancer Society’s Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk in prospect Park, Brooklyn.  S and I, clad in pink, walked up to 9^th street to meet up with our group.  It was so crowded.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a huge crowd there, before.  And, they were all here for the cause. I got a little emotional when I realized just how many people have to deal with the C word (C…C…Cancer) and how many of their/our family and friends came out to support them.  The thought was and is still so overwhelming to me.  I held it back and made myself smile. [I learned that on The Tyra banks show when Janet Jackson told her that by physically smiling, you somehow stop the tears from forming in your eyes. Hey, it works.]

I’m just going to come right out and say it.  In my family, I’m a notorious cry baby.  I cry when I’m happy and when I’m sad. I cry when I’m deeply touched and I even cry when I’m angry.  My grandfather S.H. was probably the toughest, strongest person I’ve ever known. He was not a crier.  He playfully teased when he saw me cry over silly things.  We couldn’t be more opposite, at yet, I feel compelled to take a little bit of him and put it to good use in myself.  So, throughout this whole ordeal, he was my inspiration in holding back the tears unless it was something worth crying about! Also, it came in handy since I really despise waking up with super puffy eyes and a headache. I’m working on making myself stronger.  But, I digress…

It was great seeing my 2 little sisters, Jenny and Shany (and Shan’s mom, a survivor. GO Mrs. D! You gave me courage.) and Joyce and my rock star buddy Mr. Mike Posner who is cooler than you, and the rest of the PJ Hanley’s team. It was a lovely sunny October day with a nice walk followed by a delicious brunch with great people. I'm smiling as I type this. (I decided to use full names because the single initials were getting too confusing. Darn all you J’s! Just let me know if you’d prefer I remove your name.)

I want to thank my family and friends who came out to fundraiser walks (and my surprise birthday party!) this year and to all of you guys who wanted to but couldn’t due to busy schedules, lack of transportation into Brooklyn, and to sprained ankles.  Your support means the world to me and to the cause, as well! I wish I could throw you all a party but my words are all I have at the moment.

My follow up PET Scan

I can’t believe I haven’t updated this page since October!  I kept meaning to, I promise! I’ve been linking the blog to a few more people so I think I should probably update all 5 of you guys on how I’m doing. ;o)

I had a big announcement that I was supposed to mention after my PET Scan. I haven’t even really told many people in person, either.  Back in May, My first PET scan showed a tiny (1.5cm) “dot” on my pelvis.  I found out on my first day of Chemo when my doctor told me that they weren’t sure what it was but that they were going to add 2 extra rounds of chemo to take care of it.  I was originally only supposed to have 4 cycles.  Cycles 5 and 6 were quite rough, especially on my patience.

My big announcement is that my follow up scan showed NO SIGNS of that mysterious dot!!!!

When I saw Dr. R (my Radiologist) to get my results, he told me that it was still there and that they’d keep an eye on it since they still wasn’t sure what it was.  I held my breath so hard hoping that I wouldn’t start crying until after he left the room. Just thinking about that moment is making my heart race.  I was so excited about finishing with my chemotherapy and so focused on finishing up the radiation therapy and thinking about what would come next.  My mother came to that appointment with me and I hesitated looking at her, either.  I knew that would start the flow of tears.  She asked the Dr. if we could have a copy of the results for our records.  My brain was all over the place. Thanks, mom, for thinking clearly!!!

Dr. R left the room to get our copy printed.  That’s when I starting my complaining to my dearest mother.  “We’ll get through this. We just have to take it day by day,” she reminded me.  Then he walked back into the room, reading the paper as he almost walked right into me.  “No evidence found,” he read.  I was in shock. I asked for the paper so that I could read it myself.  I could barely see the paper through the puddle in my eyes but it was true!  Such a load was lifted off my shoulders.  I didn’t even realize that I was carrying that around until it was lifted.

Dr. R, you’re awesome, but please, please, please don’t ever do that to anyone again!  I understand that he is a busy man, but this stuff is important.  These are our lives you’re discussing.

So, yes, those are seven paragraphs just to say, “So far, so good.”